You can say whatever you want so long as you say it with respect. That’s so important I want to suggest it to you twice. You can say whatever you want so long as you say it with respect. I mean if someone has been rude to you in a coffee shop, if someone has been late for dinner and it’s upset you because you believe that punctuality is a leadership virtue, you can say whatever you want, so long as you say it with respect. If your friend is late for dinner and it’s important to you that they’re on time, well, if you lash out at them and say, “Why were you late? You know, I’m angry!” That’s going to put them in attack mode, which is going to cause them to be defensive.
But if you say to them, you know, “Johnny,” or “Ravi,” or whatever their name is, if you say, “You know what, thank you so much for joining me for dinner. Before we get started and enjoy this incredible meal, if I may I’d just like to share something with deep respect. Punctuality is so important to me and I’ve been waiting here for half an hour, and your time is valuable and
my time is valuable, and I’d be ever so grateful if when we get together you would respect my time just like I want to respect your time.” You’ve said it with respect, look how powerful that is. If it is a healthy person versus a toxic person, they’re going to appreciate you being so truthful, and you’re also going to teach them that punctuality matters. The second tactic is you can say whatever you want to a teammate, to an employee, to a customer, to a family member, so long as you say it with love and respect.
